The War On Women: Reports from the Front Line (Part 1)

Here’s a fun info-graphic for all you teenagers nostalgic for the early 2000’s:

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That's not a threat, is it? Don't threaten the Prez, Nuge. Your music drones, but The President HAS drones!

The Liberal Media Conspiracy is nonexistent. I know! Hard to believe, right? That’s because you hear it all the time…on the news, on the web, in the paper… So…, wait… what kind of a big media conspiracy talks about their own big media conspiracy all day and all the time? Practically everyday, now that I think about it. Nice and loud and clear! On the literally thousands of highly-rated (or so they claim) cable and network news stations, AM radio talk shows, and websites. Silly me, I’ve always thought that since It’s the biggest and richest people/corporations that own and control everything we read and hear, they wouldn’t talk about themselves in that way too much. It’d be like McDonalds running ads that talk about how much Feeces are in an average fast-food burger. Maybe not their fast-food burger speciffically, but, still, ewww…

Maybe this has something to do with it: The (Republician-led) Supreme Court decided (under a new law they dubbed “Citizens United”) that people are now the same as corporations! Ain’t that something? It’s just like if Wal-Mart and I are siblings! Right down to how disgusted I would be with myself if I ever got drunk enough to come inside either one! Uncanny!

Oh, by the way, kudos for a brilliant job at naming “Citizens United”! Who could be against something that sounds that awesome? Seriously. What a positive name for such a negative, devastating and anti-American idea! Maybe… Just maybe… these bad and destructive new policies and plans are named after what they WANT the people to THINK, and not what they’re actually about? Maybe they do this so they can attempt to hide the fact that their shit-ass policies actually do terrible things that no one of average income (or in their right mind) would ever fucking vote for without a coked-out Nugent’s shotgun aimed at a basket of kittens!

So, like a bad sitcom, they hide their true intentions behind some misleading bullshit jargon. Really, look at “No Child Left Behind” or “The Patriot Act”! If the Repubs could somehow benefit politically from calling cancer an “All-You-Can-Eat Blow-Job Pizza Party.” Romney would tattoo the phrase on his forehead.

Perhaps, Republicans should change the name of “The War On Women” to something a bit more optimistic and zippy! And make sure they’re written by a conservative man, or else Rush Limbaugh will say they were written by sluts and prostitutes (What a card! Ha ha! When will that liberal medal learn?!)I’m just spitballing here, but how about:
“Can’t You Dames Just Accept A Cease-Fire On The Glass Ceiling?”.
Or, how about:
“If You Want Us Broads To Have Equal Pay? Then you should have to splurt the babys, fellas!”
Wait, I’ve got it:
“The Vagina: A Great Place To Visit, But If You Tried To Live There, You’d Be Out Fucking HOOKERS!!! in no time! Romney 2012″

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Just recently, Repubs were complaining about the liberals starting a war on women. The so-called “liberal media” heard out their asinine argument and lent to their glossolalias a sort of tongue-in-cheek credence. Though anyone who’s been paying attention to public discourse recently would likely laugh at the absurdity of the argument brought forth, like when Obama’s birth certificate was all over the “liberal LAME-stream media.” Something which I’m sure could NEVER happen again, since, of course, the liberals run the media. Oh, and did I mention that the media-running liberals are also supposedly Jews, too? I guess maybe they are, because otherwise FOX News would probably be denying the Holocaust.

There’s this thing Bill O’riley claims to be against during his “No Spin Zone” segment, and it’s called “Spin”. This “spin” stuff is something that the Dubya administration perfected, thanks to this man:

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But ever since Karl “Turd Blossom” Rove retired to the fair and balanced, liberal lame-stream pastures of FOX news, the Repubs are flopping like drying fish. Obama is looking like he may be made of political Teflon for yet another election cycle. If that’s the case, the Repubs have a two-part back up plan. For all you armchair political pundits, here they are. See if can spot them:

•1) Barak Obama is black. Bash that however and whenever possible!

•2) The louder and more outraged the Repubs get about something they claim the Democrats are doing, the more likely it is that the GOP themselves are the ones actually doing what they’re bitching about. It’s like on the Maury Povich show. The loudest one is usually the cheater. Or, to quote a great American: “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” —Quote: Larry The Cable Guy

And the Repubs seem to be planning in bigger, more overreaching, and more ominous ways than even they would dare to accuse anyone else of (for now, anyway)! Why? For the same reason that Dems don’t call out the Repubs for doing the same shit. Again; Why?!

Who knows?! I think things are the way they are today is due to racism and sexism, pure and simple. When Jan Brewer stuck her finger in our president’s face, and then later said she did it out of fear for her life… That was racism. A fucking textbook example of racism. When congressional conservatives refused to hear a woman during the contraception debate, Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi had to make special arrangements to hear a woman named Sandra Fluke. Ms Fluke is no politician, but that didn’t stop pill-headed fat-fuck Lush Rimjob…excuse me… Rush Limbaugh from acting a motherfuckin’ fool! He called Ms. fluke a “slut” and a “prostitute” and then proceeded to demonstrate such a hilarious misunderstanding of the way female contraceptives work, that you could almost feel sorry. Almost, but no. Rush was so bad, he came across even more incoherent, irresponsible, and misinformed than his contemporaries, and that is quite an accomplishment! Bravo, you grotesque pig-man! Now crawl back into the hole that spawned you, asshole!

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Oh, yeah. I got sidetracked and forgot to answer the question I asked a few paragraphs back: Why?

Hmmm… Let me put it this way: you would have to be earning (currently or at least next in line to inherit) a high enough yearly salary (were talking millions +) to directly benefit from the typical Republican tax cut. Trickle-down economics need to work so well for your income bracket, that it makes sound financial sense for you to vote with your checkbook, and throw your idealistic principals right out the window! Guys do it all the time, sometimes just for girls (whenever a guy lies for sex, he’s doing basically the same thing. However, lying for money is BETTER than sex, because…well, you can always just buy sex!). And women probably would do it if they were truly allowed to play at the same table.

Which is why there is such as a Democrat’s War On Women. That’s the Repub’s game. Ladies, were on your side. I’m not a big fan of abortion. I fully understand that an abortion is a difficult decision that is not arrived at as easily as the opponent’s would like people to believe. But life and death are not as easy to understand as black and white. Besides, ultimately, it’s the woman’s call. It’s her body, she gets to decide who stays and who goes. End of fucking. End of story. End of fucking story!

I’ll have more BS about the so-called “War Against Women” in the next few days. In the meantime, if you agree, disagree, or you just think I’m a stupid dumb dummy that needs to be told how the world really works, please discuss below. I promise to accept any and all comments that have anything at all to do with what I’m saying, no matter how much you may agree or disagree.

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